why worry

I thought I'd spend the weekend hiding away and catching up on lost time -- I borrowed a book I've been meaning to read, left myself a mess in my room that I need to attend to, and even planned out a schedule of television that I can not miss (ice skating, YES!) and homework assignments that need to be taken care of.

However nothing really goes according to plan, and the book is untouched, my room is still just as (or even more) messy as it was before I embarked on this three-day-weekend vacation, and...well, I succeeded in watching ice skating. Though I can't really say the same about my homework. But I AM super thrilled about upcoming skating events and I wishwishwishhh I could go skating right about now.

I will say that this weekend was quite well spent though. In good company, certainly, and now I sit on the departing end of it, as though I'm waiting for a flight back to reality and school and the work I must catch up. The rain causes a delay though and my flight isn't taking off anytime soon...I may regret this in the coming week but something about the rain just makes me want to sit and listen and think.

With good reason, because somehow I managed to ignore my previous plans to stay home and veg out. Instead I found myself in different social settings on three different nights, wondering why I always find a way to leave home when I'm already quite satisfied in my pajama-state. It's this missing out type thing -- what if it really is epic and I missed it because I stayed in? What if I'm missing out on my youth, the only time when I can do stupid things like this? What if there's some fantastic person out there and our paths won't align because I chose to watch The Secret Life of Bees instead?

I have to say, nothing really spectacular happened and although I had fun, I think I would've been just as happy staying home. But that's me I guess... afraid to miss out. On what, I don't really know...but something I learned is that I am just very accepting of people in general and random life roads. I'm not really a fighter when it comes to certain things...many things...maybe I'm taking the easy way out or maybe I'm just built to drift along on whatever whim occurs to me first. Sometimes I'm too accepting and too adjusted to situations that normal people would fight for... and I just let things slide because it's like hey, that's whats happening now.

I don't know. All I know is that every single thing we do is determining the next single thing that we do and so on and so on in this endless chain, until suddenly one thing that we do causes the end of all things that we do. Sometimes I wish that all our lives were structured differently and that society were structured differently so that we could drift about and make ourselves happy without having to live with fear of loneliness or poverty or hunger. Life would be so much better if we all knew what we wanted and if we all had the means to just do that without being held back by these responsibilities that were somehow thrust upon us by this meaningless society that tells us we need to grow up and we need to find love and we need to be successful, etc etc. If I could do ANYTHING in the world I would travel and find companions, though they would change with the scenery, and see everything there is to see and just talk to people and live and not even have a home base. That's kind of a happy thought and if everyone did that, how much happier would we be?

My train of thought is running wild like the wind. I really need to get back to reality. Two more hours and I'll be initiated into a sorority, embarking upon this next adventure. I keep telling myself -- live in the now, stop overthinking, why worry? Life is just what you want it to be.

pajama time

So the week can't have been THAT bad if I have the freedom to stay in my pajamas until 8:45 pm on Sunday. It can't be THAT busy if I watched the ending of the Wedding Planner and Harry Potter (GOF) whilst eating quesadillas and deviled eggs.

Can I just say a couple things:

-somehow, I really, REALLY suck at hard-boiling eggs. Whatever can go wrong when boiling an egg WILL go wrong if you ask me to boil an egg. It's really not that hard, but for some reason I am completely incompetent.

-BUT, I am very good at making quesadillas, even when highly intoxicated. I impress myself. And also burn my tongue.

-Michael Gambon as Dumbledore pisses me off so much. I wanted to throw a (raw) egg at the TV.

-I locked my door last night, another instance of PARANOIA? It's always so, so strange when I wake up after a night of debauchery and find that I've locked my door. Good instincts, self, but it makes me wonder.

-Watched ice skating on TV and OMG, WANTTTT. ):

I have been on the same page of Euripedes for the past 4 hours, thanks to the interference of the cheesy lines of JLo & Matt McConaughey (how the eff do you spell that) and the painful acting of our very own Harry Potter. AUGHhHhhh my SCARRrrr. BOO YOU, WIZARD BOY. ACT BETTER.

Also I've finally gotten around to learning the difference between "ie" and "eg", I realize I have been mis-using both on several occasions and will do everything in my power to stop from this moment on. For the record, "ie" stands for "id est" in Latin and means "that is" so it should be used for specifying, whereas "eg" is for providing an example, "exempli gratia" or "for the sake of providing an example."

Anyway. Lately, I have been wondering about people. I mean, what makes some people so much more interesting than others? You know what I'm saying? There are those token people who know SO much about some things and are articulate and passionate about their interests, and are able to spread the wealth in this way. You can TELL that they're smart and gonna get somewhere. Then there are some people who are less so, not saying they're not as interesting or intellectual or whatever but it just takes a little more digging to find the 3D in them. Does this have to do with our childhoods or something? Why are some people so much more...accessible at a surface level than others? Curious.

A point I stumbled upon during a late night (lost) drive: security with self comes from knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Agree? Disagree?

As far as I know...well. I'm certain that I know my weaknesses and strengths for the most part, but discoveries continue to be made. Hard-boiling eggs, for instance: weakness. There you go. I guess for a long time in my life I expected myself to be good at everything and considered it a personal failure when/if I did not perform as well as I had imagined. Slowly I am learning to accept my ridiculous flaws and understanding that that makes me who I am. Knowing your weak points is always good, sometimes because it gives you something to work on...but also sometimes because you know that's just how you are and ain't nothin gonna change it.

Like I mentioned earlier I watched ice skating today on TV. There was a little mini interview with Elvis Stojko and he was talking about how he took a break for a couple years and went biking and traveling and came out with a CD (!?!?) and then stepped back on the ice and felt...refreshed. Like it was day one and he was in love with being on the ice again, and everything was new and fantastic. ELVIS STOJKO YOU PARALLEL MY LIFE.

Sad because I left my skates in NorCal.

miscellaneous bullet points

-I always wake up feeling sad nowadays; in those spare moments between sleeping and waking my emotions are suspended in thin air. They tip over to the melancholy arena and I slowly gather consciousness as a strange sadness fills me to the core. It's a feeling I'm getting used to but I'm questioning why in the world it's there...but I ignore it's presence, put it aside, and force myself awake and out of bed and into another meaningless day. But if there's anything I've learned it's that you can't discard a feeling. So what is this really? Loneliness? Lack of meaning in my life? Lack of tangible goals? It could be a million different things.

ANYWAY, I don't mean to start the post on such a blue note...

-Currently pulling together a recap of 2009 post of EPIC PROPORTIONS...coming soon (deep theater man voice)

-SHAWTY WHATCHO NAME IS? I love me my divas; Beyonce and Lady GaGa = a match made in heaven.

-My roommate and I are entering another dangerous dip phase. Last year we bought 3 jars of spinach dip and ate it on everything until the mention of it's name triggered our gag reflexes. Earlier this year our obsession with homemade guacamole amounted to us buying x number of avocados... and now we have moved on to cheese dip. It was bound to come to this. SALSA CON QUESO, anyone??? My love for this dip is long lasting, I think I loved it since summer before senior year (holy CRAP that was a long time ago). And cheese is something I am especially picky about, so lemmetellya. This is good shit.

-Planning on ending my 3-week pescetarianism this Friday at Disneyland with a celebratory TURKEY LEGGGG

-Finals = finding LOTS of ways to entertain myself on the intarwebZ. I've found a trillion sites and blogs that I will probably love long time.

-tumblr.com. SERIOUSLY, DO IT. Seriously. Another shameless plug; http://internalogic.tumblr.com

-X-mas list as of right now: a really long ethernet cord so I can browse the web from the kitchen counter (aka my new favorite hangout) OR wifi, OmmWriter for PCs, and $15,000 for study abroad in the Fall. Bill Gates can you hear me? I have been so good this year...

Or ya know...being home for Christmas is always good.

i love the internet

Especially during finals week. I'll elaborate later....but for now I'm using this as a plug to my most recent love affair.

HTTP://INTERNALOGIC.TUMBLR.COM

Everyone...hop on board. Seriously, I guarantee you will love it as much as I do (and Nate does)

ebert & roeper style

Two thumbs up to magazine arrivals in the mail. Taylor on the cover of InStyle, Blake on the cover of Nylon, and SJP (iffffy, but okay) on the cover of Elle? I am QUITE satisfied.

One thumb up to mushroom/spinach/cheese quesadillas. My vegetarianism continues successfully......but yes I am feenin for an in-n-out burger or some kbbq. SIGH.

Two thumbs up to the strengthening of the Nexxus of Spite.

Two thumbs up to me dragging my sleepy ass out of bed at 9:15, 45 minutes later than usual, and still managing to make it to class on time, even though I looked like I fell down the rabbit hole. Can this get three thumbs up actually? I'm really proud of myself.

One thumb up to having great conversations/super chill visits with friends I click-click-click with. Insight, injuries, laughter and discussion galore...but only one thumb up because I intended to stay for an hour and ended up staying for three.

Two thumbs up for people I can be weird around. People who enjoy my cross-eyed dinosaur faces and my french-fry lovin habits. My fondness for weirdness GROWS AND GROWS. From anthro: "anthropology teaches us that people do weird things but they don't do them randomly. They have their reasons...their behavior follows a pattern. It has an internal logic." ...two big thumbs up for internal logic. heh.

One thumb up to John Mayer's CD, Battle Studies. And for actually downloading off the music thread in general, YAY.

No thumbs up to my final tomorrow. Actually one thumb up cause I really DGAF about this class (hah, future major maybe) and plus it's just another one to get through.

Two thumbs up to DISNEYLAND THIS FRIDAY!!! PLUS a Disneyland pass?!? PLEASE let this work.....I'm getting my other digits involved into this bullet point and crossing all my fingers.

No thumbs up to everyone and their dog being sick, even my friend's computer got a virus (ha, ha, ha......)

One thumb up to plans for baking cupcakes next Wednesday: planning on trying out recipes for gingerbread cupcakes or peppermint cupcakes or something holiday-like...

One thumb up to crafty creative thoughts about gift-wrapping and gift-purchasing and wishlists. Only one thumb because I have not the bank account to afford to wrap my gifts so lavishly or even purchase the items I wish I could for the dear ones in my life.

No thumbs up to discovering that UCI = high school, sans parents.

One thumb up to endless apricot blossom green tea addiction. This would get two thumbs up except for the fact that it swellllls my bladder and makes me pee in public restrooms, which I HATE.

No thumbs up to my messy messy room, you can hardly see the floor. And my laundry awaits.

No thumbs up to SHITTT it's 2:00 time to actually get work done......bye.

no thing, nothing

So guys. Monday is apparently wake-up call day, Chery doesn't have a thing day.

That's right. A thing. Especially now, it's noticeable. People have THINGS...C has her dance/photo/fashion thing, A has the architecture and the dance thing, N has his political thing, T has his biology business, M has the music thing...need I continue? Oh it's not only home people who have things (I hope you don't feel like I'm pointing fingers), UCI people have more things. Seriously everyone and their mother AND their dog is pledging for a sorority/fraternity (not that I'm jealous) but that counts as a thing!!! M has her SPOP/being friends with everybody thing, J has like a thousand different things, all of which are resume boosting AND enjoyable for her, S has freakin TRIATHLON CLUB...where does this leave me?? THING LESS!!! I DON'T EVEN GO TO THE GYMMMMM.

At least I have TRIED things...right? Sorority thing? Tried it for a week, wasn't for me. Lots of frustration and confusion on my part there but a good and worthwhile experience when it all comes down to it. And it's taught me to grow up as a person too.

So what makes me notice, even more tonight than ever before, that I don't have a thing?? Well, I ran into a summer friend on the bus today, and he managed to convince me to go to a dance workshop. So I went. I was pretty psyched, I was like, YES, I did one boogiezone class over the summer, a couple hiphop classes last year, flight school in Meher's garage, TOTALLY legit. It was like, time to get back on the dance crack!! YES. I thought I could easily make dance my thing. I mean, everyone here dances. Not that hard, right?

Fast forward about one hour, Chery = chopped and screwed. Not in the good way. Yeah okay so maybe I shouldn't have gone back to the dance crack by diving head first into a workshop for PROS. It's like after you have a hangover you go out again and then start the night by taking 10 shots in a row, BAM, no bueno. Okay that didn't really make sense BUT I think you get my jist.

Yeah so it was a pretty demeaning hour. I felt about one inch tall. And lemme tell ya, there were like PEOPLE I KNOW there, and I talked to them, so they KNOW I went. This was none of the James Bond under-the-radar secretly training to be Ciara type shit, this was like OH HEY YOU'RE HERE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU DANCED, COOL. Yeah I don't dance guys. And they didn't believe me either, so when I failed it was like, "wow she wasn't being modest, she does suck." And since they all know I was there, cause I talked to them (mistake) they also all know that I left about 2 hours early...

But HONESTLY swear to GOD, I thought the girl said "bathroom run!" In actuality she said "back to front" which is why everyone started shuffling around and rearranging. You can see how that would be confusing right? But yeah I saw it as an opportunity to roll out, cause come on, that was not really where I was meant to be at that moment in time. Plus my friend was like hardcore hating her life right then and I felt supersuper bad for dragging her with me on my druggie quest for dance crack...so yeah we peaced out. Not a shining moment for me because leaving involved walking past the front of the basketball courts...where everyone was facing, trying to learn this super legit piece...yeaaaah.

High five self, at least I tried, RIGHT?

So, dance. NOT MY THING.

I went home and cooked myself six potstickers, extra browned and crispy and delicious, to make myself feel better. All the while I vented to my roomie about how I don't have a thing. So then I segmented off my life into past things and future things and present things.

THINGS I ONCE HAD
-the ice skating thing. Can't really go back to it now, it's just a side thing. Not even really a thing. Even when I actually had it I didn't appreciate it at it's full value, and then I quit, so anyway it's NOT my thing.
-piano thing, again, QUIT. Such a quitter, fml.
-I guess I had the yearbook thing in high school. Again, does not translate into college life.
-Girl Scout. Um...didn't officially quit, just kind of gradually drained it out of my life. Not a thing.

Which leaves me with no things.

THINGS I TRIED TO HAVE
-New U: well, basically, I failed at writing an article for the first week because I'm too busy...killing flies or something. This week there are more pieces that I can write and I am going to strap myself to my chair with the new belt I bought until something worth reading comes out of my fingertips or I sit there long enough until I starve and lose a thousand pounds and slip out from under the belt, whichever comes first.
-Dance: HAAA, see above. I still want this to be a thing in my life but I need baby steps guys! And everyone here is freaking good already so my baby steps are like...lost among their running man steps. HA, reference to a dance "picture" that I semi-learned today, omg, I am being such a poser trying to sound like a pro right now. Moving right along.
-Sorority thing: Can I get a nice, rousing "NAY"? Nay.

Still have nothing.

So what do I do with my life then? REALLY, REALLY? 24 hours a day, and usually I am awake for about at least 14 of them, so what the eff am I doing all day?

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE RECENT PAST:
-overcame my disgust for flies and killed around 4 of them yesterday in a panic-induced killing frenzy spurred by my roommate and friend. Then proceeded to vacuum up the guts and corpses, and then rewarded myself with a pizookie.
-I bought really cute shoes today. I'm wearing them right now, and they are possibly the only things making me happy at this moment in time.
-I had a really delicious breakfast burrito, and now my grocery list includes breakfast burrito ingredients. I also have a new list of movies to see, including one called "Nobody" which is pretty much how I feel right now. Go watch the trailer and then take me to the movie, THANKS.
-I think I got a 3/3 on my quiz today for Earth System Science.....YAAAAAY.

And not much else... I guess...

Okay it has also been brought to my attention that I keep telling people that I'm a journalism major, but I haven't even declared yet, so BASICALLY I've been lying to everyone I've met since Week 0...SORRY GUYS.

Jacki and I tried to figure out what my thing is as she cooked me dessert. When I say dessert, I mean deep fried nutella wrapped in wonton skins and then sprinkled with powdered sugar.
Jacki: I'm not sure if they'll be good...let's just try it and then pretend this never happened if they suck.
Chery: Jacki. They have chocolate, sugar, and are deep fried. They HAVE to be good. Rule of nature.
And then after that we kind of died and stopped talking cause we were busy stuffing our faces.

Anyway, trying to figure out my thing...
Jacki: You like reading!! That's a thing!!
Chery: JACKI. ANYONE CAN READ. THAT'S NOT MY THING.

But yeah, things that I AM good at include...
-reading. WOOOO
-eating, especially fried things or sweet things, or salty things. Or all of the above.
-spending unnecessary money on unnecessary items, like good clothes or good food.
-venting
-making fun of people, probably. Verbally or mentally...sneakily or otherwise.
-procrastinating (like what I'm doing now)
-making lists.
-...texting

and surprise, surprise, these are ALL THINGS that basically ANY human being on this whole Earth can do. So basically I'm a non-unique waste of oxygen. Haaa...

I think my problem is I just can't commit to things. Maybe I should just pick a thing, and stop flirting with too many things, and then openly ask the thing to be in a relationship with me, and then change my status on facebook, and then spend all my time with this thing such that people will say, "Oh, Chery? Yeah, she's that girl! She has that _____ thing."

I mean, as of right now, I don't even know how people classify me. Not that I want to be classified, but I especially don't want to be known as thing-less girl, or be defined by who I hang out with. "Oh, Chery? Yeah she's always with that SPOP/dance/Frat/Sorority girl/boy."

But no. I fail at committing to things in general. I will have lunch with you later this week but I will probably forget who you are by the end of the month. So how am I supposed to pick a thing and love that thing for ever and ever??? I freaking get tired of my outfit by the end of the day, dammit.

I don't even want any sympathy right now, don't tell me I'm not a failure. JUST TELL ME I'M A FAILURE, maybe then I'll get a move on and DO something about it for once, instead of vent to my three online readers. And DON'T EVEN say the "writing thing" because one, I have been lying to people about that being my major, two, the only writing I do right now is blogging which hardly counts and making lists of things to do which counts even less, and then copying lecture notes which counts the least because I'm hardly even thinking as I sit there vacuously copying slide after slide, and three I haven't even written an article for the New U yet, and let me be frank, it's not like it's a huge struggle to do. I just...haven't. If writing was my thing I'd have churned out like a thousand articles by now and been crowned unofficial staff writer of the month.

SIGH. It's fine. This is an optimistic kind of depression... and thus begins the search for my thing. At least I don't have swine flu, having swine flu as your thing is worse than having no thing at all. Praise the skies.

breath

There's makeup on the pillow from the nights I'm out too late
There are plans and thoughts in my mind, cause I can't seem to wait
for things to keep on happening, I need to set the pace
but they say to take it slow, this life is not a race

---

More and more, the every day roller coaster is teaching me how to depend on myself and where to find the people to truly count on. I feel like I'm living the Sex & the City life cause right now the guys in my life are kinda whaaack. My close girl friends are so fun to chill with or go out on adventures with or cause trouble with...and it's really different from kicking it with boys, obviously. It's so weird cause it's kinda opposite from home-life, but I like both. I CAN HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS, TOO!

Which brings me to the point that I kind of have been really liking Miley Cyrus the past couple of days. Today I watched the Hannah Montana movie (and kind of secretly loved it). "See you again" has been on repeat lately, it's so fun to dance to hehe. SHH GUYS, this is a big secret. I told myself I would never like Miley but oh well.

Cause HONESTLY honestly, we all have our Hannah Montana sides! HAHA this is maybe one of the lamest analogies I've ever made but...I totally get it. We all have that interior that only a few people know. And I especially feel that there's a switch that I turn on when I go to parties or hang out with people. I feel like a different person. There's a select few here who know both sides to the story, and I think I'm going to keep it that way for now.

SO you know how there's that saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea"? Metaphorically, I totally understand. But yesterday I went grunion running and there were like...no fish in the sea. I was in the ocean for like 1+ hour getting DRENCHED (and loving it) and we caught one fish. We meaning the people who caught me and J. on our way to doing our laundry and convinced us to go with them to Seal Beach. Sigh, summer adventures...that result in late nights...and sleepy days...and bad grades on stats tests. BOO.

But yeah basically grunions are fish, once a year they come in to mate and when the waves come in they wash up on the beach and stuff. There were SO many people out trying to catch them, it was pretty crazy! I loved just being in the ocean at night, it just feels like another world. I got completely soaked and it was exhilirating.

So that brings my beach count for the summer up to a measly 2. Both were rather spontaneous nighttime adventures. Once was with A., a new friend(?). We'll see.

Honestly, tonight there are so many things I could do and I love that. But I'm kind of excited to take a breather and take it slow...for once, right? I haven't had much down time lately, there are people to see and things to do. I don't get a chance to write as often and I think my skills are definitely going down the drain. It's a scribbled thought accompanying my morning ramen or sandwiched between my late-night teeth-brushing and KO on the pillow.

I'm very excited to see C. tomorrow. (:

I can't control my train of thought right now! It's definitely de-railed. So I'll make some lists, cause that is what I am good at.

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LATELY:
-I'm not a very romantic person.
-We're all a little bit racist.
-The Exorcist was not that scary.
-I feel low when I feel like there are no options.
-This is more of an opinion...but I think my cupcakes are better than Sprinkles. Maybe I just got a big ego (cue music)

---
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
---

GOALS:
summer:
-learn how to read palms (holla Arjun. hahah)
-get a bike, bike to Newport
-maybe run a 5k.
-learn how to play Ego and The Climb on the piano
-get back to ice skating
next year:
-formal rush but don't pledge
-join ASUCI
-write for the New U
-or join the yearbook
-Snowboard club?
-learn how to DANCE!
-join an environmental friendly club
-get into SPOP

---

This was the most random blog ever...

every day is different

and exciting. I don't think I'll ever be able to be truly CONTENT with my life; there are always things that I want to do and ways I can better myself and experiences that are offered. That's my happiness, I guess. Never knowing whats coming next and just going with whatever comes your way.

I have been busy...it's been good.

I had a good conversation today about caring. Like actively deciding what to care about and what to think about and neglecting the things that you deem unnecessary. He said just care about what you have to care about because everything else will blow over. SO right, I just need to remember to apply this to my life more, because lately I tend to get swept away by every little breeze. It's fun I guess, but to be anchored is more practical.

My midterm is tomorrow which is why I decided to write a blog that trails off and has no definite substance. Should really study.

Plus, I'm waiting for a real blog worthy thought to enter my head.
Till then, stay free of swine flu!

bungry

You know when you're really not hungry at all, but you still want to eat? Seriously, you had a sandwich and a smoothie not two hours ago and yet you are looking forward to that chicken carbonara and nachos for dinner. You're not hungry, your stomach is completely full! You are just bored and do not want to study. You are just bored and want to think about the delicious kinds of food that you could be eating.

So today, April and I coined the term 'bungry'. It's when you eat when you're not really hungry, more just bored/neglectful of studies. Most of the time, I realize, I eat because I am bungry. This is a terrible thing to realize. It made me quite sad, because thinking about good food really actually does make me happy. But then it disrupts my previous train of thought about how I really really should probably start getting work done. It's just so much more fun thinking about things like chicken/broccoli/mushroom sandwiches.

An hour ago, April and I satisfied our bunger with some butter toffee peanuts from the vending machine. As of 10 minutes ago, I was bhirsty. So I got myself a strawberry melon juice drink from the vending machine. Being bhirsty and bungry all the time really takes a toll on your wallet.

My bhirstiness quenched, I am now back to feeling bungry. I could really go for some ramen right now. Dammit.

there is

so much that I could say right now, about this weekend of fails, about this learning experience that was thrust upon me, about this desire I have to write about some things that elude my understanding. But I have to save these words for another time, because I'm swamped and sleepy and to be honest, quite intimidated by the sheer amount of things that are on my mind. Once I start, I will never stop, so I will save it for a journal entry accompanied by hand cramps.

---

The Fray and Melee have been bouncing around in my mind all day. And all day I have avoided doing homework as per usual. I didn't even do my laundry or vacuum, I'm disgusting I know! Honestly if you asked me what I did today I would be at a loss for words. But I did have some very good fries at In-N-Out so it is not really a day wasted, right?

I cannot believe that it is week 9 already! I have to pick my classes this week (humcore, management, french? logic&linguistics? chemistry of cooking?) and possibly arrange a date for my community service...hah. I'm also planning on watching the free showing of Milk, and volunteering for Jumpstart tomorrow with a hallmate. Add in some hardcore catching up in classes and excercise and you have my week. I need some strength...

This quote stood out to me today:
"You need not find a cure for everything that makes you weak."
It's hard for me to accept weakness, though; in both myself and others.

LMFAO

rocks. so does dj air keke


yay skyblu and redfoo
they were crazyfun


dj air hollahollahollaaaa


me & skyblu

yee. today was gold. i went to zero classes, oops. homework time!

happy bubble

It's cool to let things roll off your shoulders and accept things for what they are. I kind of miss high school days, but there is SO much that I am looking forward to in the coming years. Growing is fun, I feel like a plant.

My weekend was fun-filled. It was delicious and perfect. My essay on the other hand, is neither of the two.

Oops @ me getting written up by my RA's boyfriend. Yeah, the one I had a 2-hour breakfast expedition with. Haha, oh life.

irresponsible weekends

are something that I absolutely love.

My weekends always start early because I'm done with class on Thursdays at 2pm. Around 12 hours after that I received a call from Crystal, so I met up with her and her SD friends at Jack in the Box. The following four hours consisted of chatting and eating delicious pho, and then I pretty much crashed in the trunk of Matt's Land Rover and failed at directing them to the UCI exit. So OKAY, I was on my way to SD. Hooray spontaneity.



A fully chill weekend where my mind did not stray to homework; not once, thanks to the eat-sleep-eat more routine. And now I am greeted with quite a pile! Oops! Irresponsible weekends bite you in the ass, I now have an essay to write and 50 pages to read.

I doubt I will be finishing my homework tonight, what with the Grammys (aka terrible performaces by Katy Perry and effing Miley Cyrus, but cutie Paul McCartney so it's all okay) and my EXCITEMENT for the vendor sales coming to UCI tomorrow! I know it will be rainy but I am so, SO thrilled to once again have the mall come to me and I will empty my wallet readily. So sad. But I am applying for jobs, brownie points for me right?

Oh, and I said I would write about He's Just Not That Into You. When honestly, I should be writing about a movie called He's Just Not That Into You...YET!

While the first half of the movie was cynically pleasing and realistically portrayed, the second half completely failed and just adhered to chick-flick standards, causing the packed theatre to drown in "oohs" and "aahs". Pretty much the movie went against what it was trying to say, so it was a little disappointing. Still enjoyable overall though, I just wish it hadn't started off so realistically and ended up so fairytale-like. Sorry kids, reality bites.

So pretty much all I'm waiting for is Lil Wayne on the Grammys.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C68ONaIAaw
WHY is he so cute? Hahaha I was laughing so hard. Newfound respect for Weezy F. Baby.

My horoscope tells me to be ready to jump in for adventure and change. This excites me. However, last night I dreamt of a lion dying. Upon referral to my little dream book, I found that a lion symbolized leadership and strength. SO leadership and strength are dying in my life? YEAH cool...haha.

ALSO! I got a twitter! My friend convinced me to get one, so I did. I'm easily persuaded. You guys should get one too, if you want. It confuses me. But yeah it seems cute or stalkery, I still can't decide.

OK I'm out! Peace.

this, i miss

Walking home by the railroad.




Cupertino in the summer time.




Walking to the park.



Stillness and beauty...& being alone to appreciate it.



The chemistry and the crazy and the "THIS IS IT" factor.

---

I'm getting antsy; I can't stay still for long. I need a change of scenery. Talk of escaping to Pasadena and NorCal and LA are especially enticing right now.

I want to go on a nice hike and see the view. Not the smog, the view.

In other news, my midterms remain un-studied for and my tan lines have become more definite. I am half pleased.

GG failed.

Another thing on my mind: project 365. One photo every day for a year to represent each day. It's not too late to start, right? And I finally have a working camera, thanks to friendly people and some Scotch tape. I'll start tomorrow!

The Grand Slam breakfast tomorrow at Denny's! Waking up bright and early, 5:30 AM. Good thing I am getting all my REM.

i'm the worst roommate ever

what with my constant sniffling and sneezing, my water boiler being extremely noisy, and my light being...on. And yeah, Sarah is sleeping peacefully while I click-click away on my again, very noisy laptop keyboard. Doing nothing productive and reverting to blogging to keep myself entertained.

This weekend consisted of the usual college revelries...and then some.



So I pretty much love Socal. Sorry, east coasters/norcal-ers, to rub it in your face. Just gives you more reason to visit me! The weather, and cause I miss you. Duh.

Anyway, I'm sick again. I never really got over my first wave of being sick. And then not sleeping and not doing sick-person things will screw you over so here I am being Ms. Sniffles again.

Also I have two midterms this week, so hopefully I will not get so bad that (God forbid) I won't be able to focus on studying. Hahaha.

And weather in the high seventies means that I will be tanning by the pool...hoorah!

catching up but not

I am blogging rather often lately which can only mean one thing: there are so many other things that I should be doing. Like, for instance, catching up on Humanities Core? Right now we are studying the Bolshevik revolution and the Weimar republic and Dadaism and Communists and art...and I'm still trying to figure out how it all pieces together. Mind you, I am not trying that hard, as I am two for two in choosing to catch up on Z's during lecture instead of trying to figure out what my professor is yammering on about.

I have to say, though. He is a really interesting guy, from what I've seen and heard thus far. Granted I've only been conscious for about a third of the time he's spoken, but what I got from him so far was that his lectures are interspersed with funny tidbits, he loves Project Runway, and he would probably be a great person to take a really long road trip with. He's just one of those people who are filled with random interesting-ness, like for instance today we talked about this:

Which I thought was really funny. I'd never seen it before, maybe you guys have because I'm stuck in my little non-politically involved shell, and I must say Irvine is really not the most politically active campus either, but yeah. I lol-ed and thought of Tina Fey, and seeing Russia from your house, and then thinking of Russia made me think of the Bolsheviks, and that just reminded me of how confused I am, so my lol-ing ended pretty quickly.

But then he also does things like make us stand up and sing communist songs. And standing up and singing "The Internationale" for four minutes is much too exhausting for me, so I conked out after that. I would be the worst commie ever, hoo-hah.

Anyway, I also have an assignment on Berlin Cabaret Culture due for my discussion in approximately one and a half hours. Surprise, surprise: I have not yet begun.

My Beatles class also deserves more attention than I am giving it. Yesterday we watched a clip of the Beatles performing at Shea stadium, and it was CRAZY! There were girls screaming and crying and fainting and running on the field and getting dragged off of it by grumpy looking cops. The sound of the Beatlemaniacs was so deafening that I doubt John, Paul, Ringo, and George could even hear themselves singing. (Hell yeah I am on a first name basis with them. And I must say, I have a rather giant crushes on Paul and Ringo.) It was cool though cause you could tell they were having an amazing time, John was going nuts and playing the keyboard with his elbows and George couldn't sing for laughing so hard. This class seriously never fails to put a smile on my face. And yet for all my love for this class, I still am seriously behind. Like 300 pages behind, to be exact. Plus like nine playlists of music. I'm a winner!
Madness. The 60's must have been such an amazing time for life! Jealous.

I've also been catching up on TV shows, like Grey's Anatomy for instance. I have that show to thank for getting me started on actually following television shows, so I do have a soft spot in my heart for it. At the same time, I do want to slap a hoe across the face and maybe cry and scream at the television. Izzy is SO frustrating and just...her storyline is not interesting at all, and things are going in circles and getting boring and just not intense anymore. It saddens me to see Grey's shriveling so, but PLEASE! It's hurting me.

This made me laugh though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JImyMGNQSs&feature=related

Points of interest:
-Meredith's bangs are SPOT ON. #1 annoyance of the show prior to Izzy's storyline.
-I just grey'sed your anatomy! HAHAHA
-I'm right, right???

Okay, I should probably start being productive. Which is really hard when your next door neighbor is blasting Britney Spears. Don't get me wrong, I love listening to Brit-brit and I'm so glad her downward spiral spiralled upwards, but it's different listening to her and listening to her through a wall.

Oh I also had a dream that I broke my leg but walked around crutch-less. DEEPER MEANING, anyone??? What my little dream book says is that a broken leg forecasts a period of unhappiness...but I feel like my period of unhappiness is over. And in my dream, I was walking around all fine and not really lamenting my lack of crutches, just wondering why I didn't have any. But I was a trooper! So maybe I'll have unhappiness but be fine and march on regardless. OR MAYBE I'm analyzing too much and should focus my brain power on Berlin Cabaret Culture!

back to bouncy

Somehow I kind of fell into a downer mood the past couple of days. But there are a number of things that totally cheered me up and here they are:

-Lady GaGa & happy music in general. I mentioned to Crystal that she should not listen to sad music and then realized that I was a filthy hypocrite, so I rid myself of my glum Mraz and instead turned to find the Remedy in happier songs (haha, such Wordplay here (omg I did it again)). Also, dancing in my room alone when nobody is looking is pretty much therapeutic.

-Going to the gym. I've been going regularly! Endorphins are my drug. Hahaha...no.

-The little study room in my dorm where little studying occurs. My friends and I record videos for each other in there, and there are a number of epic productions scattered among our friends' walls. For instance, there is one bootay-poppin video somewhere on facebook, and another video of "Jizz in my Pants" (pretty beast) somewhere else. And the study room was the scene of my friend's pencil twirling gone awry -- the pencil spun out of control and jabbed him in the eye. HAHAHA! Of course he was not hurt, otherwise I would not be laughing. Except I probably would be anyway.

-Long talks! I started getting to know this guy better and I stayed up until around 5 two nights in a row cause we just kept talking! These are the kinds of conversations I love, even though they leave me feeling drained and falling asleep in Psychology. And there is absolutely nothing romantical about these conversations, which makes me all the happier. Friendship is fun and so are fluvial conversations!

**Side note: FLUVIAL is the greatest word. Instead of saying "we clicked!" when referring to someone you get along with really well, my friends and I now say fluvial. Of or pertaining to a river. AKA FLOW! Fluvial. Woot.

-I dropped my Management class with my fobby bee-ness professor. And now I am enrolled in maybe the Best Class of All Time. Beatles & the 60's!!! I am totally pumped for this class and I don't even care that people gripe about how much memorization it is. My first lecture was today and it was pretty damn interesting, although I did fall asleep for a moment. Not to happen again! I can't wait to learrrrn.

-WEATHER!<3 Irvine has been a delicious 80+ degrees the whole week. I'm hoping for a nice summery glow in the midst of winter.

Okay my eyelids are drooping like a dozy dog's. Haha oh alliteration! Till next time.

snow retreat recap

Long time no blog! So brace yourselves for a recap of epic proportions.

The first week back in general was pretty filled with fun. It was great settling back in and catching up with people again, and I found myself occupying a slightly different niche than the one I had left back in December. Not to say that this is a bad thing, on the contrary, I find that this branching out may actually be better for me, so hoorah for that. The first week was also pretty successful in the academic and health aspects. I actually did my homework for the most part, and what I didn't do was really not my fault. Honestly, if you say it is due on Friday, I would think it'd be due Friday afternoon or something. Not Thursday at 12 AM. Though it is technically Friday already, but whatever, my TA is dumb. At least now I know. Anyway, I was pretty healthy last week too! I went to the gym four days and legitimately worked out and felt pretty damn good. Eating healthier and snacking less, as well. Hopefully this pattern will continue.

This weekend a bunch of people from my hall drove up to Lake Arrowhead for our winter retreat. It was a total of about 25ish people so it was quite comfy and fun for all. We left Friday evening after dinner and arrived at the ginormo and luxurious mansion later that night. It was freaking huge and amazing and we definitely had fun playing sardines and exploring. Bonding activities were fun as usual, and then we all tried to turn in early because the following day would be activity filled and energy was definitely required!

However, this plan failed pretty epically. I went to bed around 12:30, decided it would be a good idea to make win sandwiches with my friends at around 1:00, and then ended up back on my pillow by around 2:30. Oh also, I was sleeping in a room filled with about 10 people and MAN do people breathe loudly! Not only snore because there was plenty of that, but BREATHING! SO LOUDLY, EVERYWHERE! I did not get a wink of sleep and I dragged my grumpy and moody ass out of bed at 5:30 to get ready for a day of snowboarding.

We got to the rather sad little resort around 8 and to our dismay, found out that only two lifts were open due to high winds. One lift was up an almost completely flat span of space, and the other went up a bunny-hill like run with three options for coming down. Also, it was not snowy, it was icy. Hard and cold and...ICE. Yeah. Going into it I was pessimistic about the conditions but I turned out to have a pretty fantastic day on that one hill, minus my moment of eating shit when trying to jump.

Speaking of! The boredom that the existence of one hill created encouraged me and my fellow snowboarding buddies to try some of the easier freestyle terrain. I successfully did a box and a jump, hoorah! I did completely eat shit on my second try at the jump though, I landed straight on my ass and slid a good 15 feet down the icy ramp. My hat and head parted, and it was sadly laying there being red and lonely for a while before my plea for help was finally answered. My butt is sore as a motherbitch, but it was totally worth it. Funnest ever. But yeah, a day of snowboarding for 8 hours will pretty much kill you. I was dead tired.

On the way back I also had a near-death experience. My friend decided to test out the 4-wheel-drive function of his new Land Rover on some steep snow banks and he deemed it an appropriate time. So he tried it, and it was pretty effing scary/badass all at the same time. Our car was tilted SO much I swore I was about to die and the glass would shatter and we would get in so much trouble etc. etc. but Land Rovers are a good deal! We are alive and live to tell this amazing story of adventure and risk. Haha, I didn't have one of those "life flashing before your eyes!" moments but I did worry about getting in trouble for forging my parents signatures for the release of liability for the trip. I definitely pictured myself in a hospital bed all bandaged up with my parents and RA yelling at me. Oh, conscience.

The rest of the night was filled with lounging around, the most amazing shower, a delicious dinner, and then a fat cuddlepuddle in the observatory. Overall a great ending to a great day, but I was feeling kind of sick and very exhausted so I retired early.

We left the cabin this morning at around 11. Maneuvering around the piles of people's crap was definitely hard, I felt like an 80 year old woman with severe arthritis and aches and pains etc. The drive back was really fun, we sang along to old-school songs and played around with the other car of people heading back. It was quite clever and fun.

Irvine welcomed us back with 85 degree weather, so the girls and I deemed it a good idea to sit in the park and simultaneously tan and study. We lugged our textbooks and happy selves to the beautifully sun-drenched Aldrich park and proceeded to lounge around and do very little homework, as expected! It was really fun and we were all having a great time until an epic bee decided it would be fun to terrorize us. So our party was broken up, and we headed back. I did get to climb a tree today, and it made me happy, so hoorah. Parks and picnics and good friends and sunshine make me happy.

Since then I have not really been doing much. Avoiding homework, watching the Golden Globes, looking at/tagging facebook pictures, the usual.

Sorry for a boring recap post, I promise next time I'll be more interesting and tell you about interesting things like failing at ordering food and the indecision that plagues my life. Also about the good happy times that happen, but for now I am too tired and too bored with myself to do anything to spice up this post.

Have a happy week!

finals, yay!

Finals week is like a constant pajama party.

There is no need to even leave the hall, unless it is for food or delicious peppermint cookies. I have been in my pajamas pretty much since I woke up at one, and since then, I have been in my bed about half the time. Which I really, really enjoy. There is no motivation to look nice at all, or to even bother putting together any outfits. I could probably pack all my regular clothes and survive until Saturday with sweats and Hanes T-shirts...but I won't. Cause I'm too lazy to dig out my suitcase.

However, the emptiness is rather disconcerting. My last final is Friday at 4pm so I'm going about my day with a rather dark cloud looming ahead. The knowledge that I have this final in the last possible slot makes life a little harder. And yet, every time I turn on my computer to start studying, I seem to stray from the path and end up on facebook or watching ten episodes of How I Met Your Mother instead.

OH, life. I hope the rest of you are experiencing the success in studying/testing that I seem to lack.

study break!

Yeah so I've only been studying for like 20 minutes so far, what up! A girl deserves a good blogging break every once in a while.

My first final is tomorrow at 8 in the morning, hoorah.

And I am at the same place where very little seems to matter to me. The future seems rich and promising and far away, yet still within my reach. I am very excited to grow up and all that good stuff but this excitement does not translate into me being motivated in the present day. Hah.

I'm in the study room and I realize some people have very annoying study habits. Whispering along to your music is definitely not allowed, along with small dancing motions. It's very distracting and I want to yell at him to stop, dammit.

Also, people lacking common sense or practicality tend to annoy me a teensy bit.

And NO, I'm not in a grumpy mood. I just don't want to study. ):

Other than this week being finals week, I'm actually pretty excited for it. My finals fill the first and last spots offered (Monday 8am and Friday 4pm) and so I kind of have a fat span of empty space in between. Yes I will be studying, but not for 24 hours every day, so I'm pretty ready to enjoy some free time.

Oddly enough, I am not as excited for winter break as I was for Thanksgiving break.