recap

SO much has happened in the past like...two days. Bullet points necessary.

FRIDAY

-got initiated into Gamma Phi Beta. (: Got letters and everything! HOLLER

-got into a verbal fight with a close-minded, disrespectful, belligerent scumbag, would have gotten physical if people were not in the way. HOLD ME BACK. Investing in ninja stars soon, prease. Seriously so pissed about this.

-instead of hurting said scumbag, I screwed myself over by throwing my phone on the ground and snapping it in two.

-who shows up at 4 am? My favorite CS.

SATURDAY

-cleaned the blood off my roommate's sink

-attempted to get myself another phone, semi-failed. My friend just gave me one and now all I need to do is get to Verizon and...do business.

-hung out with C all day, and barraged her with ANGER (the likes of which have been unseen since senior year). yes. ANGER!!!!!!

-thought that someone stole my favorite hot shoes and got really pissed

-went to Zeta formals! And afterparty. Met someone named Chuck and insisted upon calling him Chuck Norris. Ate shit as I ran to the bathroom in high heels. Ate shit reallllllllll bad.

-got home at 4am and KO'ed

SUNDAY

-somehow woke up at 8:00 with my ghetto alarm clock. Parents day at the GPhi house.

-found out my friend has my shoes

-got a phone from my friend

-now must study until forever

-all I really want to do is sleep

-or punch scumbag in the face (yes still)

sigh. the business. I'm tired.

oops

So I didn't sleep like I should've, or do homework, or even clean my room....

but I have the rest of the weekend for that! RIGHT?

SIGH someone straight-jacket me. No more bad business. MUST WRITE MY ESSAY.

Ice skating at 6pm tonight and going to dim sum in a couple minutes, which I am WAY too excited for. (:

emotional calluses, anyone? SUPER attractive.

anyway...

last night was party hopping night with one of my favorite party-ers. Quite the fun!

AND PS. I absolutely LOVE my roommate. And DIM SUM!

hello awkward life

Do you ever have one of those days when things are just OVERWHELMING? And these are like regular random things, like seeing people. Being near humans. Being near large quantities of regular, living human.

Today was all over the place. Yeah, coming back to school after a three-week lapse is bound to be a little strange, but I highly doubt that what I experienced today could be considered normal.

Let's start with French class. First off can I just say that three weeks, though it is apparently not enough time to forget about some things, seems to be JUST enough time to forget about 10 weeks worth of the French language. I stood there getting really nervous and awkwardly perspiring with my confused face on (this is not cute) as she blabbered on in French. I felt like I SHOULD have known what she was saying, and okay I really should have known what she was saying, but I just sat there listening and randomly caught her saying things like "today" and "you ask" and great things like that. Luckily for me my skills at piecing together sentences were...also not intact. Fail.

Lunch was a nice catch up session with J. After almost (unintentionally) stealing our pizzas, we caught up and talked about study abroad, winter break, tattoos, random people, etc. SO overall quite a success minus the three people who passed by and STARED at me, it was SO WEIRD. DID I HAVE PIZZA ON MY FACE? DID A BIRD POOP ON MY HAIR? I am not some exhibition creature guys, girls eat pizza too okay?! I thought this was like a known fact but APPARENTLY NOT.

Then I went to English. Here finally I was out-awkwarded by my TA who seemed to be a little overwhelmed at teaching this class of thirty students. Really, I would not be worried. I mean, one guy came in wearing crocs. I'm sorry, I would not be intimidated of this.

Okay I'm just kidding. Footwear really does not tell you anything about how smart someone is (he's probably a genius who doesn't have enough time to match regular-people shoes to his outfit because he's busy tying guns to trees with Al Gore in the fight against global warming -- SNL anyone??!!?).

Anyway. She was semi-nervous which made me feel a LITTLE better, cause my heart rate was up and my palms were sweaty (knees weak, arms are heavy) from running around a completely undiscovered area of campus trying to find my damn English class. REALLY, who schedules English classes in the Computer Science building? COME ON PEOPLE.

Afterwards I met up with Monique and my crazy found an outlet. Awkwardly ran into people and just pretended to NOT, kept laughing at things that were not funny in order to pretend that I actually have a life and/or sense of humor as I passed said awkward persons. Also I learned a new yoga pose (?) that is kind of like the fetal position, face down on the floor. It was fun, I like to think it helped me zen out after my crazy but then again, I'm not so sure. Monique says it helps cause your center of gravity is very close to the ground or your core or SOMETHING, I wasn't really listening, I was making puppy/dinosaur noises and thinking about taping my fingers together to see how it would feel to be a T-rex. Do I have ADD?

Open windows are also great, I've decided.

example one:

S and I are sitting in a car and two guys walk buy. Guy one does a double take.

S: HE TOTALLY DID A DOUBLE TAKE

C: IT'S CAUSE I'M HAAAAWT

S: YOU KNOW IT GIRL

C: EW LOOOK HE JUST SPIT WHAT A NASTYYYY

S: shit the window's open.

Yeah I'm pretty sure he heard us, and yes we do speak in Caps Lock in regular life.

example two:

M and I are driving by the bus stop and we see D there.

C: D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

car screeches to a stop.

M: D!!!!! D! D! D!!!!!!!!!!!

D waves.

car speeds off

We are non-awkward, I love it.

Open windows are great.

And today I went to Target and I did NOT buy chocolate! OR really cute wall hangings! OR makeup! Except I did buy makeup.

Anyway, I closed off the crazy day by eating leftover Thai food and blasting the greatest hits of pop music whilst singing obnoxiously loud with my lovely roommate. We also made THE MOST DELICIOUS GUACAMOLE EVER, seriously this guaco was ahhh-mazing. And we watched Sex & The City. All in all a rather uneventfully eventful day, if you catch my drift.

And yeah I decided that I need a little time before I can be integrated back into college society. Today, I was just really off my rocker. It was so weird. Funny, but weird.

It just felt weird to be back. Weird to be another face in the crowd that nobody really gives a hoot about. Maybe that was why I was so weird today, it was some sort of sad effort at separating myself from the masses. Well it definitely worked, I'm pretty sure the amount of people who think I am probably crazy has doubled since I set foot on campus at 10:30 this morning. All in a day's work.

Monique summed it up pretty well -- I was just overwhelmed. By people, "feelings", study abroad, the mystery of my missing check, housing, people I don't like, classes I am waitlisted for, being a failure at French, my ethernet not working, oh crap I need to turn in my rent. EVERYTHING. This must be how babies feel when they are birthed into this strange world of adult-sized people saying things that they don't understand and living lives that they don't understand. I'm a fetus guys.

It was also weird that I saw pretty much EVERYONE today. Everyone being, people I wasn't aware that I would run into. Yeah there are lots of people here to run into. I don't know, just imagine every single emotion you have EVER felt, and then imagine feeling them ALL at the same time, and then you pretty much have my day. Wild huh?

Oh and the greatest tidbit maybe. I ran to the bus just as the doors closed and screeched (seriously screeched, you know I make weird noises): NOOOooOooOOOO!

The driver opened it and said, "well, that works." So, semi-embarrassed, I thumped up the stairs and saw someone really familiar looking sitting in the first seat. "Hey!" he said. "HEYYYY," I said, smiling, and then proceeded to the back of the bus. It wasn't till I plopped myself down that I realized it was STEAK BOYYYY. HAHAHA I guess sometimes people who take you on nine hour dates don't really leave a lasting impression? What is WRONG with me.

Anywho. Hopefully life will settle down a little bit in the coming days, I'd like to not feel so alien and strange all the time. Or maybe I'll just stay this hyper and crazy, it's fun for everyone. If you think about it there are only 50 days this quarter, cause 10 weeks times 5 days of class is 50, and then subtract today and some random day we have off and it's 48 days!!! Isn't that uplifting!?!? 48 more days of awkward life!!! I'm excited!!!

the great thing about pants

Or shoes, for that matter.

They come with a receipt. And a return policy. And a visible price tag! In life, none of this is offered. More on this later.

Conversation with my sister (who is startlingly similar to me in our approaches to zee "love life" or lack thereof…)

amy: cant
amy: stoppp
amy: thinking
amy: abt
amy: pants
me: lmao
me: i thought you were gonna say [boy]
me: i'm so glad you didnt
amy: i think im in .... love?
me: LOL
me: then go get the pants
me: if its true love
me: they'll wait for you
amy: noo
amy: but i want them.. NOW
amy: ohh mommmaa needs her sugarrrrr

Sometimes it freaks me out how similar we are. Oh but if only all life were like this! THINK ABOUT IT…

You walk into the store (aka life) not really wanting anything, just set on the idea that if anything surprises you and tickles your fancy enough you will consider it for a while and then purchase it, if you think it's worth it. Simple as that.

And it's so easy to find something that you fall in love with in a store, because they're so upfront and honest with you! You know how much they will cost you. You can try them on for as long as you want to see if they're a good fit. And you know that when it all comes down to it, you can just return them if the relationship is not working out!

Moral of the story: boys need price tags. And return policies.

Part deux: similarities between search for boys and search for shoes.

1. Appearance

No crocs. Must be nice looking, and us girls love to outdo each other with our cute accessories. Appearance of shoes (or boys I guess) tells you a lot about the person wearing them. This of course is the first factor that draws you in, the others come later as you try the shoes on. Or the boy.

2. Comfort
Pretty self-explanatory. Shoes or boy must not give you blisters from rubbing you the wrong way, be it physical blisters or emotional ones. Must be able to hang out with said shoes/boy for long periods of time without wanting to cry and/or escape.

3. Price range

Q: Is it worth it?
Q: If I don't buy them now, will I still be thinking of them? Will I regret it?
Q: Will the payback come? AKA will I get the maximum amount of bang for my buck? (K that sounds wrong when thinking of males)

4. Uniqueness

Shoes/boy should reflect your essential style. If it fits in with who you are as a unique entity, DO IT.

Shoe shopping is so much easier than life.

Then again, a pair of shoes won't make you laugh. Except for maybe these shoes. HAH..

cool

When people tell you you're cool, what does that make you think?

I'm so awkward with compliments. As C says I should learn to just smile and say "thanks" but any form of flattery makes me feel totes awk.

Maybe this stems from my childhood, like when my parentals showed me off to the relatives...

relatives: oh you're so pretty!!
me: heh heh thanks...........

relatives: and cute!!!!11!!1!!!

me: heh heh thanks...........

relatives: and your mom tells me you're so smart, too!!11!!1!

me: heh heh thanks...........

relatives: (cheek pinching/fast Indonesian and raucous laughter with my parents)

me: (awkward face, awkward shuffle away)

yeah, I'm sure we've all been in THAT situation. I think my instinct now is to totally negate any incoming compliments completely, so I'll respond with a "ohhh, heh heh nooo, not at allll...."/awkward-face combo that is sure to win them all.

Sigh compliments. I think mostly I'd rather be complimented on something I actively think about/choose for myself, not something inherent or genetic. Yeah I don't know, but should compliments be kept for things that people actually work for? Like they work hard or decide something and you're like hey, good job. Not like oh hey, you were born with nice hair, good job. Like when I say "thanks" I feel like I should be proud of whatever they're complimenting me on, not just cause I happen to be a certain way. Okay, I think too much.

I just need to learn how to accept compliments graciously, I guess. I feel like such a non-lady in this aspect. I bet Audrey Hepburn doesn't even have an awkward face....but whatever. I'm weird and awkward that way, love me please. ):

IDK. Do I even pay compliments? Maybe I should pay more. Anyway, yeah. BE COOL. I'm starting to hate this word. It just sounds weird.

Reminds me of French class
Oui! D'accord! COOL!

And Nicolas with his Montreal accent says COOL in ze most perfect way, tres bien. Oui, oui.

starbucks thoughts

How inspirational for a pastry bag from Starbucks:

flavors my senses
sweetens my disposition
stirs my imagination
nourishes my dreams

Really? A blueberry scone can do all that?

Au contraire, I found out that blueberry scones are one of the least healthy breakfasts in america…so it’s more like nourishing your obesity.

Going to the farmers market tomorrow morning, where I hope to purchase some dream-nourishing, imagination-stirring, and disposition-sweetening (and actually healthy) foods.

happy halloween mnonkin fabkers

I hate to overuse a cliche but okay, shitshow for sure.

Started off the night at Chipotle! FREE BURRITOS WHAT! The crew I went with ended up going back for seconds...and thirds. NOT FAT, I SWEAR. But yeah I only had 1.3 burritos so whatever y'allll! In retrospect Halloween weekend was like, the worst weekend EVER when caloric intake is concerned.
-five! five dollar footlong! I ate it in...basically one sitting...hahaha.
-burrrrritos YEE
-Del Taco. GOTTA LOVE IT, chicken soft taco, you are my best friend. Fried jalapeno rings, not feelin you as much.
-shots shots shots shot-shot-shots ERRRRBODDDYYY
So fat. SO, so fat. I should really just go back to dating the gym. (Elliptical, I love you, I'm sorry, let's give this a second chance. It could really work this time.)

Then I went to Newport Beach for "Nightmare on 29th"... I don't even know how to start so I will just...list things.

-hoes hoes hoes - the man version, as well as probably some girl versions too LOL. (My annoying side came out as I decided to document lap dances and face-licking of all sorts)
-and drunks. Drunks drunks drunks EVERYWHERE. Horny kind, loud kind, hand-holding kind (LOL), apparently the angry kind...and then just...more drunk people added into the mix. Drunk Tigger with ears askew, drunk Scot in kilt, drunk Donkey Kong, etc etc. Tranny messes, all of you.
-probably dropped my phone a thousand more times, because now it is even MORE crappy and broken-looking, and click-y. THIS IS NOT HOW MY PHONE SHOULD BE, IT HAS NOT EVEN BEEN THREE MONTHS!
-was force fed a shot out of NOWHERE, while I was in the middle of talking. Basically I guess he just poured it into my mouth when I was saying something, I'm guessing something like "WOW" cause you open your mouth big for that one. K I'm gonna stop talking.
-apparently someone punched in the side of a car and then spent the night in the drunk tank.
-also, apparently someone got STABBED on 29th street too...yeah wtfz guys
-basically gave this guy (who flaked on me, which is like #1 offense) shit all night, and punched him with my gold cuff YES. Mission accomplished. But it's okay, because
-he ended up peeing his pants later, HAHAHA!!!!!!! More ON than IN, BUT STILL!!! HAHAHA!!!
-sang along/dance partied to Taylor Swift with the guy who ended up in the drunk tank later
-then found Taylor Swift downstairs
-also met a girl scout and then proceeded to recite the oath whilst pouring Captain Mo, oh how far we have come.
-felt like I was back in Asia because it was literally 938472387 degrees in the house, plus sweaty humidity, so basically I felt like I was inhaling a mixture of BO and alcohol all night, which was definitely a highlight. NO.
-I made a Jewish friend named MITCH!
-someone randomly picked me up as a big sis, which is funny because 1. neither of us are affiliated because we both de-pledged/deferred and because 2. just wtf HAHAHA...oh well he offered me lunch so I will be taking advantage of this accordingly
-got hit on (?????) by very drunk/very taken boy...LOL but I dodged that bullet whew
-and got hugged a lot, which I really was not enjoying, because I mean, it was 23984793874 degrees in there, do we really need to share our body warmth? Really? Come on guys.

Then we stopped by another party for about two minutes, with one minute being devoted to me emptying my bladder.

THEN we came back to my apartment complex and played some beer pong (which I really do not remember).
-apparently I was talking hella shit to nobody but my own partner. TEAMWORK FTW. But it's okay because
-I DID NOT TROLL. One cup made, accomplishment I would say, especially considering my state of being...hahaha NTS, do not play this game when very drunk

And then I don't remember coming back to my apartment but...I MADE IT SAFE AND SOUND!

Good costumes I saw:
-JUNO & PAULIE BLEEKER!!! I took a picture of her belly. In retrospect that might be semi-awkward but do I care? No. Also this was funny because some guy thought she was ACTUALLY pregnant and mentioned that it might be harmful to her unborn baby to be downing that many shots, LOL.
-IDK, but there is a picture of some guy's nipple on my camera.......good.
-TAYLOR SWIFT! (: as mentioned before.
-there were a lot of babies. And just...naked people. Well, I mean, Mean Girls hit on an immortal truth: Halloween is the only time a girl can dress like a slut and not be judged for it. Apparently the rule applies to guys as well. But really, being naked is not a costume. I'm sorry.
-DeadMaus woooo
-"drunk all the time". He made a shirt with pictures of himself highly inebriated, that said "wanted by the FBI for being DRUNK ALL THE TIME" or something like that. Oh yeah this is the guy who I Taylor Swift-ed with and also the guy who punched in the side of the car and ended up in the drunk tank. So I guess his costume wasn't really a costume, more of a...real life identity type thing. HAHA.
-TOOL! He had a hat shaped like a wrench and then a shirt that said tool, I LOLed.
-some guy was an angel, I LOLed again.
-cute high school couple - football player and cheerleader. The football guy came in FULL GEAR. Those shoulder pads were NOT FUN to stand next to, especially when he turned abruptly and whacked my face
-then you got your regular crew of tramps and nerds, workout people and guys in corsets (which is REALLY not pretty, or even that funny, if you ask me)

But I'm not ragging on other peoples costumes, because okay, I don't even know what I was...basically people asked me what I was, and I just said "you tell me." So responses I got:
-Pocahontas (okay, this is initially what I wanted to be, but I totally thought I ditched that idea when I found this ridiculously shiny $8 dress at Buffalo Exchange. Apparently not, though? So I guess I win..)
-Cleopatra (that's the one I was planning on sticking with)
-Greek goddess
-shiny piece of shit. No, I kid. But yeah whatever.
-"pretty". HAHAHA......awkward, bye.

Also I was very unaware of how drunk texty I am.
-I REALLY MISS YOU HOME PEOPLE. Sorry to Neri for getting the full brunt of my drunken homesickness. Also my first text reads "I breally ahev to pee rght now." So thanks Neri...for reading about the state of my bladder....yeeeeah.
-Thanks to Tim who basically made my night with this piece of quality texting: "Ur a mnonkin fabker baller ! luqo" (WHAT IS LUQO? But "mnonkin fabker" is definitely entering my daily vocabulary)
-"RAPE RAPE RAPE" (?!?!?!)
-"Woowowww m drunk when id this haoppen." (Self, please stop texting. And the time stamp reads 1:45 AM, so I guess there is your answer.)
-at least that was a change from 12:01 AM, "I need to bhe more drunkk"
-then to Nate: "Hoep youre having a better night than me. Fuck," -- was I telling him to get some action?? (; HAHAHA just kidding friends
-1:46 is when I wanted to be back in the CPT I suppose. "Im drinkk take me home )))):::" That is really a scary smiley face, four mouths and three sets of eyes. Monsters really do come out on Halloween. But I guess this is still better than the hoards of emoticon-overusers :D :D :D :D :D :P :P :P :P :P ;) ;) who once texted me on a daily basis before I non-subtly snipped them out of my inbox and life.

So yeah, I woke up around 10 this morning still in full costume, just...on my bed. Must say it was kind of surprising but at the same time very relieving. Lol. Cleaned up, went to Del Taco & de-briefed the night...and now a full day of homework and school business to deal with. And yeah, apparently I KO'ed while listening to Super Mash Bros, so add that to the list of other random music I fall asleep to (NERD). HOLLA, MUSIC THREAD.

words of wisdom

Today started off semi-rough.

I had a French quiz this morning...and if you didn't see my status, you will now.
Chery Sutjahjo: LOL FML french quiz: he asked me who is the laziest in my family, i answered by telling him where i keep my spare umbrellas....HAHAHAHA FAIL

YEAHHH so, paresseux and parapluie definitely NOT the same thing. I was basically laughing my head off the whole time as he reviewed the quiz and went over the answers. Because my answer, instead of saying something along the lines of "I am the laziest in my family" or something like that, was more like "In the closet." .......HAHAHA.

Good thing I have a midterm on Tuesday. WIN! Actually I'm a LOT better at written as opposed to oral testing, so I'm not supremely worried about this. Still. Studying to be done.

Anyway...some random little tidbits have been needling at me much more too. I don't know why I'm being so touchy today, but there was some SERIOUS vibin going on.

VIBIN - Vicious Inner Bitchin. Occurs when I am not a good mood and start mentally hating on every living being on this planet for no apparent reason. This never translates to vocal bitchin, which is good. Just turns my head into some crazy place for the time being.

Yeah so I was hardcore vibin for a large portion of today, I don't really know why. Thankfully my buddy Meher knows whats up, and when I texted him telling him about my weird mood, he responded:

Fuck'em Friday, noun - a spontaneous occurrence of extreme vibin, usually occurring on, but not limited to, a Friday. Reason for occurrence: bitches ain't shit. Ex, "man, fuck'em Friday, I'm vibin on these hoes."

I loled in the middle of class.

Anyway the rest of the day was satisfactory, and this weekend should be ultimate rest time. Not much planned and I'm enjoying it the way that it is. DGAF weekend for sure! GOD I need to stop with these weird terms.

ALSO, I HAVE A NEW BABY:
HTTP://SALMONFRESH.BLOGSPOT.COM
more lifestyle, less whining. please add!