When did our present turn into the past? Is it instantaneous, the second it's over it becomes the past? There are times that feel like just yesterday that I realize are so far gone.
I ran into some old family friends today after lunch. We passed by casually, not recognizing one another after the lapse of not seeing each other for a couple years. Turning around I realized that it really was them, so I caught up with them and WOW what a trip. I remember baby-sitting the two kids, and now they're fourteen and eleven. One of them is taller than my sister, thankfully still shorter than me (just by an inch). She's about to start high school, if you can call it that. She's homeschooling because she is a tennis SUPERSTAR. Caps lock necessary.
Time really flies...we used to see each other a lot, they were like the little siblings I never had. Maybe I'm being extra nostalgic, I just miss those olden days.
And I miss the golden age -- I didn't really think about it until yesterday, high school was pretty outrageous. So many good times, and it felt so unique and fresh. Just the people I surrounded myself with had such a different feel than the people I meet in college. College life can be pretty cookie-cutter at times. Yeah it's fun, but don't we all get tired of it? I'm looking for someone(s) to flip that around and bring back the glory days of high school, except college style. Does that make sense? High school life just felt more interesting.
Maybe college is just a lull. The empty space between the fun of high school and the grind of post-college life. A time to realize your goals, make connections (but not relationships), and start building yourself a foundation. This post is making college sound SO dull, which it really is not...I'm just being nostalgic, I suppose.
<3 Gabe Bondoc.
7.31.2009
homes
Being back home is different. In all honesty, I'm confused at which "home" is my main home now. Irvine pulls me back the way Cupertino pulled me back when I was in Irvine...it's kind of painful to constantly be in this limbo. I find myself wondering what I'd be doing if I was in Irvine. But here, let's not ponder the might-have-beens, rather, let's focus on recent ponderings of being back home...
First off, I'm going to whine a little bit. Grievances about home include:
-weak showerhead
-lack of my regular beauty products (SIGH Aussie shampoo, I MISS YOU DEARLY)
-curfew....sucks major ass.
-I feel extra poor here, even though in Irvine I was making very little bank.
Anyway...being home is extra nice right now. It's like a fresh breath of air, time to gather yourself and re-focus. It's nice having something to look forward to and consistently work at, too (HOLLA DANCE BISCUITS) hahah.
Also, I think everyone is taking notice of each other more. Some things feel a lot closer. I find myself being much more open with people too, maybe the physical distance made me realize how important they actually are in my life. I'm kind of rambling, it's late...
Living life in chunks is easier to do.
First off, I'm going to whine a little bit. Grievances about home include:
-weak showerhead
-lack of my regular beauty products (SIGH Aussie shampoo, I MISS YOU DEARLY)
-curfew....sucks major ass.
-I feel extra poor here, even though in Irvine I was making very little bank.
Anyway...being home is extra nice right now. It's like a fresh breath of air, time to gather yourself and re-focus. It's nice having something to look forward to and consistently work at, too (HOLLA DANCE BISCUITS) hahah.
Also, I think everyone is taking notice of each other more. Some things feel a lot closer. I find myself being much more open with people too, maybe the physical distance made me realize how important they actually are in my life. I'm kind of rambling, it's late...
Living life in chunks is easier to do.
7.27.2009
easy breezy
Today was the last day in SoCal for a while...surprise, coming home a little early! Somehow though, once I dream of leaving, people conjure up reasons to make me stay...birthday parties, beach trips, pool parties (with cabanas!!), social activities galore, all which I THRIVE upon! Too bad my NorCal love affair must resume...I've been away too long and all I really want to do is sit in Meher's garage. Haha, holla!
Anyway, today was an easy-peasy breezy kind of day. I went wherever the wind blew me...well, I went the way the wind was coming from, because I like the wind blowing in my hair that way. I was talking about this with a friend, you look so much better when you're going against the wind than when you're going with it. PARALLEL FOR LIFE, MUCH??? WOW! Moving on.
I had work early in the morning and although it was quite a drag, it was over soon enough. I ran into my ex-RA and we planned a lunch date for a few hours in the future, so I rushed myself home and soon found myself at BCD with Norby & Mo. It was quite the cute catchup, nothing else to say! Then from there I went to Mo's and lazed around for a while, which I am very good at. We went to Newport Beach around 4:30 and chilled in the delicious ocean breeze for a while.
I met someone so funny at the beach. She's HILARIOUS -- a one-woman show. So funny and charismatic and shamelessly herself. She's one of those people I admire and wish to be more like. This might sound kind of creepy. But she's hilarrrrious! I love being around people like that. But at the same time I feel so boring and unsubstantial around her type.
We ended up back at Mo's place after the beach, had a little dinner, had a little fun...and now I'm back at my place, neglecting my packing as I knew I would. Plenty of time for that later!
Something that has come to my attention lately: my wants and actions are quite contradictory. Or rather, my actions do not lead directly to my wants. Instead they twist and tangle, with my intentions only living in my head and not in spoken word. I think I fear getting in people's way, I don't want to leave a "pushy" impression, thus I shy from asking for what I want.
Exhibit A: Last night my time of the month cravings begged for Salsa Verde. My friend told me he would take me to Albertsons but forgot and went without me...Mo insisted on him taking us anyway, and he obliged, but I steadfastly said NO even though my stomach was screaming the opposite. So is this pushover status or a desire to not get in people's way?
And if I don't get in people's ways once in a while, doesn't that mean I'll just be soon forgotten? I feel like I don't leave a lasting impression; I'll be there when you want me but I won't force myself into your life. Easily ignored?
Exhibit B: Some of you may know about my youtube friend. SIGH, I want my T-shirt back...like desperately. But I feel like I'm being naggy and annoying, which I absolutely HATE in others so I'm being less persistent than I would usually be. Is this a pathetic surrender or a polite step back?
ANNNND....there, I hit it. I'm over thinking. Excellent. I will just sit here in my lens-less 3-D glasses (!!!) and continue to ponder the reasons for my lackluster living and ignore my gaping suitcase.
T-minus 12 hours until I'm aboard the beloved Vietnamese bus! Off to do other things to take up time.
Anyway, today was an easy-peasy breezy kind of day. I went wherever the wind blew me...well, I went the way the wind was coming from, because I like the wind blowing in my hair that way. I was talking about this with a friend, you look so much better when you're going against the wind than when you're going with it. PARALLEL FOR LIFE, MUCH??? WOW! Moving on.
I had work early in the morning and although it was quite a drag, it was over soon enough. I ran into my ex-RA and we planned a lunch date for a few hours in the future, so I rushed myself home and soon found myself at BCD with Norby & Mo. It was quite the cute catchup, nothing else to say! Then from there I went to Mo's and lazed around for a while, which I am very good at. We went to Newport Beach around 4:30 and chilled in the delicious ocean breeze for a while.
I met someone so funny at the beach. She's HILARIOUS -- a one-woman show. So funny and charismatic and shamelessly herself. She's one of those people I admire and wish to be more like. This might sound kind of creepy. But she's hilarrrrious! I love being around people like that. But at the same time I feel so boring and unsubstantial around her type.
We ended up back at Mo's place after the beach, had a little dinner, had a little fun...and now I'm back at my place, neglecting my packing as I knew I would. Plenty of time for that later!
Something that has come to my attention lately: my wants and actions are quite contradictory. Or rather, my actions do not lead directly to my wants. Instead they twist and tangle, with my intentions only living in my head and not in spoken word. I think I fear getting in people's way, I don't want to leave a "pushy" impression, thus I shy from asking for what I want.
Exhibit A: Last night my time of the month cravings begged for Salsa Verde. My friend told me he would take me to Albertsons but forgot and went without me...Mo insisted on him taking us anyway, and he obliged, but I steadfastly said NO even though my stomach was screaming the opposite. So is this pushover status or a desire to not get in people's way?
And if I don't get in people's ways once in a while, doesn't that mean I'll just be soon forgotten? I feel like I don't leave a lasting impression; I'll be there when you want me but I won't force myself into your life. Easily ignored?
Exhibit B: Some of you may know about my youtube friend. SIGH, I want my T-shirt back...like desperately. But I feel like I'm being naggy and annoying, which I absolutely HATE in others so I'm being less persistent than I would usually be. Is this a pathetic surrender or a polite step back?
ANNNND....there, I hit it. I'm over thinking. Excellent. I will just sit here in my lens-less 3-D glasses (!!!) and continue to ponder the reasons for my lackluster living and ignore my gaping suitcase.
T-minus 12 hours until I'm aboard the beloved Vietnamese bus! Off to do other things to take up time.
7.25.2009
oh, those summer nights
I need to work at living in the moment
instead of considering the future
and questioning the past.
7.23.2009
tetris & a sense of humor
So today when I was (not) studying, I decided that life is like Tetris. It is maybe the most perfect analogy I have ever created, and I congratulate myself on this genius idea.
You see, sometimes things just fit perfectly. And you are rewarded for your skill/action or whatever you did to deserve something falling into place so nicely. Kudos.
More often than not, this is not the case.
Sometimes, you THINK something will fit, BUT IT WON'T! That's your bad, oops. Don't worry, it's fixable.
It just sucks when something better comes along that would have fit. Then you kick yourself in the shins. But again, more pieces are coming so, not to worry!
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Ultimately you die, unless you play tetris until you...actually die. Sad for you.
Sometimes things are just fail. It's okay, try again.
Don't worry guys, contrary to the illustrations, I am actually pretty good at Tetris......ha.
I wonder what my life would look like as a Tetris game. Haha. Am I crazy? Have I been trying to study/not study for too long? Yes, probably to both. Sigh.
---
A more substantial portion of this strange blogpost:
A good sense of humor is all you need to get through anything life throws your way.
For instance, the single life can be crazy and very weird. One of my girl friends told me stories about weird guys touching her legs and asking to see her armpits and the such. And we all know the (fail) stories of my car hustler and other...more than friendly endeavors. Haha. Today the girl friend I mentioned texted me about a guy she met twice:
"homeboy went through my underwear drawer. who does that?!"
In response, all I have to ask is, WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DEALING WITH? Some boys just surpass any and all boundaries and never fail to put a O_O on my face.
"he brought over two cans of beer...LOL"
...............good. At least it was two...courtesy, perhaps? Or he was really, really thirsty.
"he pulled the shaving line like the other guy. he's like hey you don't have much hair then he touched my leg"
Yeah, there was another guy who did that. HAHA....okay. Can I get some explanations? These situations are just so bizarre.
You see, sometimes things just fit perfectly. And you are rewarded for your skill/action or whatever you did to deserve something falling into place so nicely. Kudos.
More often than not, this is not the case.
Sometimes, you THINK something will fit, BUT IT WON'T! That's your bad, oops. Don't worry, it's fixable.
It just sucks when something better comes along that would have fit. Then you kick yourself in the shins. But again, more pieces are coming so, not to worry!
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Ultimately you die, unless you play tetris until you...actually die. Sad for you.
Sometimes things are just fail. It's okay, try again.
Don't worry guys, contrary to the illustrations, I am actually pretty good at Tetris......ha.
I wonder what my life would look like as a Tetris game. Haha. Am I crazy? Have I been trying to study/not study for too long? Yes, probably to both. Sigh.
---
A more substantial portion of this strange blogpost:
A good sense of humor is all you need to get through anything life throws your way.
For instance, the single life can be crazy and very weird. One of my girl friends told me stories about weird guys touching her legs and asking to see her armpits and the such. And we all know the (fail) stories of my car hustler and other...more than friendly endeavors. Haha. Today the girl friend I mentioned texted me about a guy she met twice:
"homeboy went through my underwear drawer. who does that?!"
In response, all I have to ask is, WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DEALING WITH? Some boys just surpass any and all boundaries and never fail to put a O_O on my face.
"he brought over two cans of beer...LOL"
...............good. At least it was two...courtesy, perhaps? Or he was really, really thirsty.
"he pulled the shaving line like the other guy. he's like hey you don't have much hair then he touched my leg"
Yeah, there was another guy who did that. HAHA....okay. Can I get some explanations? These situations are just so bizarre.
7.22.2009
weakness
"You need not find a cure for everything that makes you weak."
This quote has stuck out in my mind ever since the time I stumbled upon it when browsing through Postsecret. (I've probably even written about it here). I've pondered it and thought about it but somehow I still don't know what it means to me. Does it mean that we should relent to the weakness and be absorbed in the misery of being human? Or does it simply mean that some things that make us weak are not actually ailments that should be sought to be cured? Do our weaknesses make us who we are? Or do they change us by forcing us to try to overcome them?
"Some secrets are good...a little shade makes you more interesting."
"Yeah...shadows make someone 3-d."
How true and unfortunate. Fortunate? Depends what the shadows are hiding, I suppose.
I digress. I was writing about weakness. I thought somehow that snippet of a conversation would relate because it does in my mind, but maybe not so much after all.
Anyway. Here I am, possibly at the weakest point ever. I suppose the cycle of engaging myself too much when I know I need rest is paralleled emotionally as well. But first off let's discuss the breakdown. It started off Monday night, and then all of Tuesday I was in bed with a raging fever, imagining I was on my death bed and thinking of all the things I'd regret. I hadn't the strength to get up and beg for medicine until about four hours into my pitiful non-nap. Delirious and awoken from my "near-death" state, I thought I knew what I would do and I had a certain determination. I'm proud of my then-self; but maybe I was only that way because I had an excuse. I could put it off until I got better, at least.
Today I was feeling better. I made it to class, hung out with friends, went to Baja Fresh for a free burrito deal. Towards the end of dinner I started itching...and finding strange bumps on my face. Initially I dismissed them as bug bites but then they started popping up really quickly. I was not in a good state. I guess I was having an allergic reaction, to what, I don't know. But we raced off to Albertsons to pick up some Benadryl, with my heartbeat pounding in my ever-swelling face.
So maybe it's all the acetaminophen and diphenhydramine in my system right now that's making me feel like this. Like what? LIKE SHIT. My body is under attack from within. I feel betrayed.
I hate feeling weak.
I also hate that I am doing nothing to get closer to where I want to be. In any aspect of my life. Why am I holding myself back? I am my own worst enemy.
This quote has stuck out in my mind ever since the time I stumbled upon it when browsing through Postsecret. (I've probably even written about it here). I've pondered it and thought about it but somehow I still don't know what it means to me. Does it mean that we should relent to the weakness and be absorbed in the misery of being human? Or does it simply mean that some things that make us weak are not actually ailments that should be sought to be cured? Do our weaknesses make us who we are? Or do they change us by forcing us to try to overcome them?
"Some secrets are good...a little shade makes you more interesting."
"Yeah...shadows make someone 3-d."
How true and unfortunate. Fortunate? Depends what the shadows are hiding, I suppose.
I digress. I was writing about weakness. I thought somehow that snippet of a conversation would relate because it does in my mind, but maybe not so much after all.
Anyway. Here I am, possibly at the weakest point ever. I suppose the cycle of engaging myself too much when I know I need rest is paralleled emotionally as well. But first off let's discuss the breakdown. It started off Monday night, and then all of Tuesday I was in bed with a raging fever, imagining I was on my death bed and thinking of all the things I'd regret. I hadn't the strength to get up and beg for medicine until about four hours into my pitiful non-nap. Delirious and awoken from my "near-death" state, I thought I knew what I would do and I had a certain determination. I'm proud of my then-self; but maybe I was only that way because I had an excuse. I could put it off until I got better, at least.
Today I was feeling better. I made it to class, hung out with friends, went to Baja Fresh for a free burrito deal. Towards the end of dinner I started itching...and finding strange bumps on my face. Initially I dismissed them as bug bites but then they started popping up really quickly. I was not in a good state. I guess I was having an allergic reaction, to what, I don't know. But we raced off to Albertsons to pick up some Benadryl, with my heartbeat pounding in my ever-swelling face.
So maybe it's all the acetaminophen and diphenhydramine in my system right now that's making me feel like this. Like what? LIKE SHIT. My body is under attack from within. I feel betrayed.
I hate feeling weak.
I also hate that I am doing nothing to get closer to where I want to be. In any aspect of my life. Why am I holding myself back? I am my own worst enemy.
7.15.2009
alone
"We all need somebody to lean on."
Do we?
I've been a strong proponent/admirer of independence for a very long time. If you can't depend on yourself, then who are you going to depend on? If you can't be happy being a singular self, how can you be happy with someone else? If you can't make it alone, how will you make it at all?
We're not completely alone, however. There are people who trip in and out of our lives, passers by in a personalized journey that you ultimately travel alone. They do bring happiness, they bring security and comfort, they bring a lot of things into your life. But their segment in your life comes to a conclusion soon enough and then they fade, left to be a happy memory. And new people come in to bring happiness/encouragement/intimacy etc. back in. You choose to let them bring that back to you. You pick and choose who comes in and out and what they bring to your door.
So purely alone, but we try so hard to have someone and to surround ourselves with people. Humans are social beings, I accept and embrace that fact, in fact I am living that fact. But I also appreciate and cherish the time when I can be reclusive and utterly alone. My apartment is empty most nights, I enjoy the quiet and the allowances it brings me. Only my light is on and my music is blasting, with no regards of being a bother.
I was not aware that there were people who feared so much what I enjoy.
Just recently I've met people who can't stand being alone. Who are afraid of being alone in their own home, at day or at night, who not only desire the presence of other people close by at all times, but say that they NEED this constant company. It really surprised me. But you come across all kinds of people in life.
---
Every day I ask myself what I'm looking for; every day, the answer changes.
Do we?
I've been a strong proponent/admirer of independence for a very long time. If you can't depend on yourself, then who are you going to depend on? If you can't be happy being a singular self, how can you be happy with someone else? If you can't make it alone, how will you make it at all?
We're not completely alone, however. There are people who trip in and out of our lives, passers by in a personalized journey that you ultimately travel alone. They do bring happiness, they bring security and comfort, they bring a lot of things into your life. But their segment in your life comes to a conclusion soon enough and then they fade, left to be a happy memory. And new people come in to bring happiness/encouragement/intimacy etc. back in. You choose to let them bring that back to you. You pick and choose who comes in and out and what they bring to your door.
So purely alone, but we try so hard to have someone and to surround ourselves with people. Humans are social beings, I accept and embrace that fact, in fact I am living that fact. But I also appreciate and cherish the time when I can be reclusive and utterly alone. My apartment is empty most nights, I enjoy the quiet and the allowances it brings me. Only my light is on and my music is blasting, with no regards of being a bother.
I was not aware that there were people who feared so much what I enjoy.
Just recently I've met people who can't stand being alone. Who are afraid of being alone in their own home, at day or at night, who not only desire the presence of other people close by at all times, but say that they NEED this constant company. It really surprised me. But you come across all kinds of people in life.
---
Every day I ask myself what I'm looking for; every day, the answer changes.
7.12.2009
direction
The weekend was perfect! But hey, I'm speaking in the past tense and I still have some hours to burn before I can officially whine about it being Monday again. An adventure might be coming around...but for now I'm content with re-capping.
It's nice being around people who are goal-oriented. I was talking to C. about this today when she was here; hanging out with goal-oriented people makes me more goal-oriented. And goals are good: they give me something to direct my crazy energy towards. That's something I have to work on, usually I feel as though my energy gets wasted and I end up sitting around thinking too much and making myself sad or bored.
I'm looking forward to so much now. The rest of the summer, the trip to Asia, being home for small bursts...and then the start of my second year. First year was quite an adventure, but it seemed to lack direction. Next year I want to have things to focus on and goals to achieve. I want to work hard and feel rewarded. Next year I want to feel like I'm taking myself somewhere and making something of myself, instead of just having meaningless daily fun.
Lately my dreams have been telling me to expect disappointment or trouble...not gonna lie, this kind of frightens me because I'm in such a happy-go-lucky place in my life right now. I can't foresee any kind of discontentment on the horizon and I'm afraid that it will sneak up on me.
But I'm not worrying too much. I won't worry my life away! (:
It's nice being around people who are goal-oriented. I was talking to C. about this today when she was here; hanging out with goal-oriented people makes me more goal-oriented. And goals are good: they give me something to direct my crazy energy towards. That's something I have to work on, usually I feel as though my energy gets wasted and I end up sitting around thinking too much and making myself sad or bored.
I'm looking forward to so much now. The rest of the summer, the trip to Asia, being home for small bursts...and then the start of my second year. First year was quite an adventure, but it seemed to lack direction. Next year I want to have things to focus on and goals to achieve. I want to work hard and feel rewarded. Next year I want to feel like I'm taking myself somewhere and making something of myself, instead of just having meaningless daily fun.
Lately my dreams have been telling me to expect disappointment or trouble...not gonna lie, this kind of frightens me because I'm in such a happy-go-lucky place in my life right now. I can't foresee any kind of discontentment on the horizon and I'm afraid that it will sneak up on me.
But I'm not worrying too much. I won't worry my life away! (:
7.10.2009
breath
There's makeup on the pillow from the nights I'm out too late
There are plans and thoughts in my mind, cause I can't seem to wait
for things to keep on happening, I need to set the pace
but they say to take it slow, this life is not a race
---
More and more, the every day roller coaster is teaching me how to depend on myself and where to find the people to truly count on. I feel like I'm living the Sex & the City life cause right now the guys in my life are kinda whaaack. My close girl friends are so fun to chill with or go out on adventures with or cause trouble with...and it's really different from kicking it with boys, obviously. It's so weird cause it's kinda opposite from home-life, but I like both. I CAN HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS, TOO!
Which brings me to the point that I kind of have been really liking Miley Cyrus the past couple of days. Today I watched the Hannah Montana movie (and kind of secretly loved it). "See you again" has been on repeat lately, it's so fun to dance to hehe. SHH GUYS, this is a big secret. I told myself I would never like Miley but oh well.
Cause HONESTLY honestly, we all have our Hannah Montana sides! HAHA this is maybe one of the lamest analogies I've ever made but...I totally get it. We all have that interior that only a few people know. And I especially feel that there's a switch that I turn on when I go to parties or hang out with people. I feel like a different person. There's a select few here who know both sides to the story, and I think I'm going to keep it that way for now.
SO you know how there's that saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea"? Metaphorically, I totally understand. But yesterday I went grunion running and there were like...no fish in the sea. I was in the ocean for like 1+ hour getting DRENCHED (and loving it) and we caught one fish. We meaning the people who caught me and J. on our way to doing our laundry and convinced us to go with them to Seal Beach. Sigh, summer adventures...that result in late nights...and sleepy days...and bad grades on stats tests. BOO.
But yeah basically grunions are fish, once a year they come in to mate and when the waves come in they wash up on the beach and stuff. There were SO many people out trying to catch them, it was pretty crazy! I loved just being in the ocean at night, it just feels like another world. I got completely soaked and it was exhilirating.
So that brings my beach count for the summer up to a measly 2. Both were rather spontaneous nighttime adventures. Once was with A., a new friend(?). We'll see.
Honestly, tonight there are so many things I could do and I love that. But I'm kind of excited to take a breather and take it slow...for once, right? I haven't had much down time lately, there are people to see and things to do. I don't get a chance to write as often and I think my skills are definitely going down the drain. It's a scribbled thought accompanying my morning ramen or sandwiched between my late-night teeth-brushing and KO on the pillow.
I'm very excited to see C. tomorrow. (:
I can't control my train of thought right now! It's definitely de-railed. So I'll make some lists, cause that is what I am good at.
THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LATELY:
-I'm not a very romantic person.
-We're all a little bit racist.
-The Exorcist was not that scary.
-I feel low when I feel like there are no options.
-This is more of an opinion...but I think my cupcakes are better than Sprinkles. Maybe I just got a big ego (cue music)
---
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
---
GOALS:
summer:
-learn how to read palms (holla Arjun. hahah)
-get a bike, bike to Newport
-maybe run a 5k.
-learn how to play Ego and The Climb on the piano
-get back to ice skating
next year:
-formal rush but don't pledge
-join ASUCI
-write for the New U
-or join the yearbook
-Snowboard club?
-learn how to DANCE!
-join an environmental friendly club
-get into SPOP
---
This was the most random blog ever...
There are plans and thoughts in my mind, cause I can't seem to wait
for things to keep on happening, I need to set the pace
but they say to take it slow, this life is not a race
---
More and more, the every day roller coaster is teaching me how to depend on myself and where to find the people to truly count on. I feel like I'm living the Sex & the City life cause right now the guys in my life are kinda whaaack. My close girl friends are so fun to chill with or go out on adventures with or cause trouble with...and it's really different from kicking it with boys, obviously. It's so weird cause it's kinda opposite from home-life, but I like both. I CAN HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS, TOO!
Which brings me to the point that I kind of have been really liking Miley Cyrus the past couple of days. Today I watched the Hannah Montana movie (and kind of secretly loved it). "See you again" has been on repeat lately, it's so fun to dance to hehe. SHH GUYS, this is a big secret. I told myself I would never like Miley but oh well.
Cause HONESTLY honestly, we all have our Hannah Montana sides! HAHA this is maybe one of the lamest analogies I've ever made but...I totally get it. We all have that interior that only a few people know. And I especially feel that there's a switch that I turn on when I go to parties or hang out with people. I feel like a different person. There's a select few here who know both sides to the story, and I think I'm going to keep it that way for now.
SO you know how there's that saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea"? Metaphorically, I totally understand. But yesterday I went grunion running and there were like...no fish in the sea. I was in the ocean for like 1+ hour getting DRENCHED (and loving it) and we caught one fish. We meaning the people who caught me and J. on our way to doing our laundry and convinced us to go with them to Seal Beach. Sigh, summer adventures...that result in late nights...and sleepy days...and bad grades on stats tests. BOO.
But yeah basically grunions are fish, once a year they come in to mate and when the waves come in they wash up on the beach and stuff. There were SO many people out trying to catch them, it was pretty crazy! I loved just being in the ocean at night, it just feels like another world. I got completely soaked and it was exhilirating.
So that brings my beach count for the summer up to a measly 2. Both were rather spontaneous nighttime adventures. Once was with A., a new friend(?). We'll see.
Honestly, tonight there are so many things I could do and I love that. But I'm kind of excited to take a breather and take it slow...for once, right? I haven't had much down time lately, there are people to see and things to do. I don't get a chance to write as often and I think my skills are definitely going down the drain. It's a scribbled thought accompanying my morning ramen or sandwiched between my late-night teeth-brushing and KO on the pillow.
I'm very excited to see C. tomorrow. (:
I can't control my train of thought right now! It's definitely de-railed. So I'll make some lists, cause that is what I am good at.
THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LATELY:
-I'm not a very romantic person.
-We're all a little bit racist.
-The Exorcist was not that scary.
-I feel low when I feel like there are no options.
-This is more of an opinion...but I think my cupcakes are better than Sprinkles. Maybe I just got a big ego (cue music)
---
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
---
GOALS:
summer:
-learn how to read palms (holla Arjun. hahah)
-get a bike, bike to Newport
-maybe run a 5k.
-learn how to play Ego and The Climb on the piano
-get back to ice skating
next year:
-formal rush but don't pledge
-join ASUCI
-write for the New U
-or join the yearbook
-Snowboard club?
-learn how to DANCE!
-join an environmental friendly club
-get into SPOP
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This was the most random blog ever...
7.03.2009
expectations
No matter what you do, it's never going to be what you expected.
I need to stop trying so hard to plan and pursue these images in my mind...life is so much easier if you just roll with the punches and approach each day with a blank slate.
Life is good in Irvine. Every day is a different adventure and I'm constantly meeting new people, which is keeping me happy. I think I'm the type of person who just always needs these new situations and people to keep me interested. If life gets boring, I get sad. And then I start thinking too much, and we all know how bad that is. I like being in Irvine cause I'm always occupied...home gets a bit too mellow sometimes.
Today I went to Costco and had free samples. SO GOOD. I resolve to go there for lunch on the weekends. I am a poor college student and their food is good, so it seems like a pretty obvious decision right?
I need to stop trying so hard to plan and pursue these images in my mind...life is so much easier if you just roll with the punches and approach each day with a blank slate.
Life is good in Irvine. Every day is a different adventure and I'm constantly meeting new people, which is keeping me happy. I think I'm the type of person who just always needs these new situations and people to keep me interested. If life gets boring, I get sad. And then I start thinking too much, and we all know how bad that is. I like being in Irvine cause I'm always occupied...home gets a bit too mellow sometimes.
Today I went to Costco and had free samples. SO GOOD. I resolve to go there for lunch on the weekends. I am a poor college student and their food is good, so it seems like a pretty obvious decision right?
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