interviews & results

So the week is finally over! And I left my fourth and final interview in a hurry, not because of the rain, not even because of the wet socks (okay maybe a little bit because of the wet socks) but MOSTLY because I wanted to blog about how awkward interviews are!

Okay, maybe it’s not that they’re AWKWARD. They’re just unnatural. And isn’t that a little bit awkward? I tend to leave interviews in a little bit of a flurry of emotion. On the one hand, I like being asked questions about myself because I do tend to self-reflect a lot, and it’s fun to communicate innermost thoughts and workings of my mind to someone who is basically a complete stranger. Once long ago I’d try to shape my words into something more pleasant to their ears but now, I’ve become more comfortable with sharing my thoughts AS my thoughts. Make sense? Just being myself more, not trying so damn hard all the time.

On the other hand, though, I also leave interviews quite frustrated. Looking back I say, oh, I could have said something else here. Or elaborated on this point. Etc. There’s no point in lingering but what DOES bother me is the whole set up of an interview. Question and answer.

In Anthro we learned about a form of communication that is called initiation/response/evaluation, which is basically ask a question, get an answer, and then proceed from there. In conversation, the evaluation segment would be elaboration on that topic and divulging anecdotes and such. However in the interview setting evaluation is literally just that — evaluation on paper, filling in little boxes, taking note of what you just said. Uncomfortable? A little.

Anyhow, interviews aren’t meant to be conversations. They’re called interviews for a reason I guess, viewing between several people? But generally it’s NOT “between”, it’s more “directed at” someone…which is something I am not a fan of. Here I am, but where are you? Questions and answers on one way streets with almost no switchover.

I digress. What frustrates me is…well, just how am I supposed to share all the knowledge and experiences I’ve acquired in the 18+ years that I’ve been living and breathing and learning? Pack it into a well-worded short verbal paragraph and hurl it onto that piece of paper, being written on by entirely foreign fingers. How can I share the experiences that have molded me into the person that I am, the changes I’ve undergone and every step into the reason why I am how I am, and how can I form this into a statement that ultimately answers WHY I am qualified for this position? How can I get them to KNOW me and understand what I’m passionate about, and what I think about, and all this stuff? Interviews are merely an introduction but I’d rather get them to skip to the middle of this story.

Tough cookies! Going into the interview I was nervous because I knew it was something that I really wanted. In the interview I was less nervous because that’s usually how it is. Anticipation brings nerves but when you’re finally not sitting around doing nothing about it, it’s not half bad.

Before, I sat at the pub with friends and got myself into interview mode. I guess I had the jitters but I got some good laughs and it was a nice comfortable crowd to send me away into the waiting arms of the interview. Anyway I said before I left, “I am just the same as everyone else.”

Someone said, don’t think that way. But I can’t see why not. This way we’re all on equal ground. There’s no hierarchy. After the interview, sure we’ll be “ranked” differently, but right now we’ve all got the same thing. Names on paper, and we’re all just as interesting and involved and engaging as the next person. I am just the same as everyone else because we are all human and we have all been experiencing life and taking from it and applying it to ourselves. The only way we differ is how we’ve rebounded from the jabs that life throws us. Essentially though, we are all the same. We’re just people.

I can see how it can be taken negatively but I said it with no sense of self-pity or self-consciousness. I take that statement as a reminder that we’re all going through experiences and changing on a day to day. I take that as a reminder that when you take away these false labels and intricate cover-ups we’re all built the same.

Someone I interviewed last week said something along those lines…he said he was just like everyone else, so it wasn’t a big deal. I think it’s when we start drawing lines and saying oh I’m more qualified, or oh I’m more popular, or I’m smarter…that’s when we trip ourselves up and stop being ourselves. It raises the stakes and turns it into a competition, when it’s really not. Just do your thing and be happy doing it! Real talk! When you’re just like everyone else it’s easier to not be like everyone else and be more you. If that makes any sense at all. Which it doesn’t, but it does to me. I’ll think about this more I guess.

ANYWAY, the week is over and I am off to celebrate this gray Friday in a yellow car because screw you raindrops, you shall not dampen my mood! (: Lately I’ve been riding a wave of good humor or contentment…so I’m going to go buy something pretty to seal the deal. Busy weekend ahead!

IN OTHER NEWS....I finally heard back from Alternative Spring Break and I am SUPER excited to be a participant at the San Bernardino National Forest this coming break!!!!! AAAAH!!!! (: